Beginning Of The Pandemic

(From 3/20/20)

Hey! Whats the first reason someone doesn’t direct? Because they don’t know about lenses! This realization opened my eyes since I’ve been inside my house. When I moved away from Boston and to NYC I literally had no idea what having lines felt like, I didn’t know about lighting, about aar’s, overdubs. I didn’t know about angles or the best way to hold the camera in order to advance the story. I didn’t know about lenses or the importance of picking between them. I didn’t understand cinematography. I didn’t know what blocking was. I didn’t know the importance of rehearsal or what it meant when you step on set for the first day of work. I never studied before (not for acting). I didn’t know what location or casting directors did. I didn’t know the difference between them and an assistant director. I didn’t know the difference between all of them and a producer. I didn’t have a talent manager. I didn’t have an agent. So I’m asking myself now that I have the time to-what exactly is going on here? Well I’ll give you a guess-I’m learning! I’m learning so very much. And It’s beyond amazing, not to mention incredibly rewarding. I haven’t had this quiet time to be able to crystallize the experience I’ve been going through and what it means for my future. Why? Because I only focus on the work. I focus on the auditions. I focus on submissions. I focus on my material. I focus on the communication. I focus on my marketing. I focus on self tapes. I focus on work. I focus on staying connected, sharing love with those in my life and with those who I just met. When I’m on set I solely focus on what I can do to help move the project along. If that means picking up a water bottle that is by the sound persons feet before they step on it and ruin the take - then that’s what I will do. If it means solely focusing on doing my job as an actor-that’s what i do. If the director asks me for my opinion or help or anything at all-that’s what i focus on. If it meant learning something new or gaining/losing weight - that’s what I focus on. I try to listen to everyone I come across. I love learning from people- which is probably why I love being on set. I’m capable of so much. I’ve only been allowed to be the bad guy, how lucky am I! I am so fortunate to be able to audition and work as much as I have been able to.

Growing up Mrs. Doubtfire, The Mask and Ace Ventura - these movies shaped my creative imagination. They shaped my desire to want to be an actor in the first place. And I must finally throw these chains I put on myself off so I can allow the true actor inside of me, the improv, to come out. So I can flourish. I need to. I need to be on set. I want to spend the rest of my life there, with my people - building a team. Working toward something special, meaningful, important work. Wether it’s to the writer director producer or audience-I just want to work on important work. I want to invest wholly, and completely. This is only speed I know how to go when working. I give NYC credit for that. I do not burn out, I feed off it. I feed off being exhausted by means of important work, meaningful work. Learning something new, a new word, a new anything - there is nothing better. I want to take on big things in my life. I want to help people in a big way. I want to share what I have learned with the world and with whoever else wants to listen. I want to do a lot in these next 10 years. I have no time to waste if I’m going to accomplish it all.

I’ve lived such a life and am going through such an experience that I hope to bring all of that and couple it with the knowledge I have obtained not only in school but spending thousands of hours and hundreds of days on film television and commercial sets since I moved to New York City.

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