Updated: 5 days ago
Art is and always has been my first love. My place of refuge. Solace. Comfort. Quiet. It was a space of love. The enriching self love we all need and most often people find in other things different than the abstract. But thats what makes artists the unique beasts that we are. Each of us our own unique beast. Art was the only time in my day I would feel good. Art was and somehow is my life now. For some reason the more I think about it-it always was. As a kid acting was what I did to maintain my sanity. Going to the movies turned into my place of safety and fun. Music was what I did when I wanted to relax, unwind. When I wanted to feel more me, I first played music then sang along and then bought a bass. I enjoy residing in the foundation of our music house-rhythm. School doesn’t help with rhythm or creativity, but it helped me fill my brain with information. Choosing school instead of drugs or god knows what else helped me in doing what I always wanted to do, heal myself and live in my brain. I needed to force information into my brain. Because if I didn’t, I’d end up just like who I didn’t want to be. The worst of me as a kid. My father was very serious when he told me to never think about the military. He cleaned toilets instead and allowed me to go to school. My mother allowed me to fill my brain with information. We all fill our brains with something. Acting is allowing me to go to deeper places within myself and be able to connect with others in such a different unique and more meaningful way than I ever was able to before. Especially in my youth. This is only because I moved to New York City and forged this life. The amount of auditions is dizzying. Endlessly trying to stretch myself in every direction. I have to also live a life, be a son a family member friend, a boyfriend. Auditioning is madness. Work is where I have the most fun. No one is more grateful for the opportunity to audition more than I am. No one wants to do as good of a job or get as good of a performance every time we hit the record button more than me. We have to keep in mind that the fruits of bookings are elusive for us all, that’s why I push everyone to not hide behind technology as any excuse in our life. This is why. Sometimes I don’t have a reader, or it could be the space I’m confined to. Is it the speed of the world? It’s technology I think, a corrupting force now present in and affecting all of American life now. Money is not the sole reason why art exists, corruption within the country must be reminded of that. Art exists to help expand our mind, share our humanity, expand our perception, open our hearts, allow us into our feeling, to push the depths of our humanity and what we understand. Empathy. This is why painters paint, writers write, musicians write and play songs and this is why us actors act. I like acting for its ability to allow me to be a vessel for all of life through my feelings and experiences throughout my life. That’s why I threw away the life I had been building. Reality TV, consolidation of media and the internet, in my opinion, corrupted a process that I have found to be truly borderline religious in this country. Making Art. That process. Art is precious. This anchor of our civilization is our rock which we lean on when times get hard. What did all of us do while we were inside and afraid? We were entertained. By what? Art. It’s taken me an extremely very long time to actually grasp what it means, actor. We all have our own interpretations of it. The objective truth, an understanding about the process, that’s what I’ve been after. The process. It’s is all I‘m after now. What I did when I moved to NY doesn’t give someone an education in the craft, but it allowed me to immerse ourself in the experience (experiment) of it all. There is no better feeling than being given that extension of trust by your fellow creative. To start running down the road of creation together. I know deep down now that absolutely nothing else should I be doing. I am an actor. Sure, I love argument, I love the mechanics and utility of law and history. I would’ve loved being a lawyer. I miss parts of it. I’d of been able to help people in some way-but I would not have the same feeling I have now to be able to give people what I aim to give them to allow them to feel or to see, I don’t believe I would feel this enriched, and I surely would not have the confidence that I have now. I’m actually be able to connect with others in a way that I just couldn’t before. It’s called growth. Why God made Art to begin with. Art is why I have a life. I spent 25 years learning. I wouldn’t trade any of it in for anything else, not the time the education friends you meet along the way or the experiences. The only desire I have now is a desire to go deeper within myself to be met by challenging material and to be able to reach and find that character. Whatever and wherever he is. I want to work with those who are as passionate about truth meaning and storytelling as I am. Meaning is what I am after. Truth, meaning-their separate from how we feel. Art, reality, God-it’s the universe. Art is here to help guide us through. Making us think deeper, feel more and eventually to take a step into our fears. To learn, to grow. The creation of and our wide use (abuse) of technology means it is now possible to concoct your own alternative reality in which we choose to live, because the world is scary and most of us can’t spend the time to know ourselves. Enter bubbles. Bubbles are spaces which art goes to die. Our Humanity must be able to have an ability to feel that is greater than just us so we can accurately perceive the world as it is. Not to mention extend empathy. This is why art exists, I didn’t know this when I decided to move to NYC. I didn't understand just what technology has been doing to a free country. I was naive. Only through being able to sit inside for a year was I able to observe. And only with time now do I have an actual understanding of what it means to be an actor. Craftspeople are the artists. Actors help do art, we lend our craft to help make something, but we are not the art. I feel like we’ve gotten all wrapped up in ourselves. Cinematographers, gaffers, sound, lighting, set design all of the other dedicated craftspeople working Together-these are artists. Direction is always good, but for most of us feeling much better. Find the truth of your character.
Our humanity is our best friend.
Our connective tissue. Technology poses a fundamental threat to the foundation of our entire civilization I think, in a free country generally, not only in art. So I hope we can all work a little harder within ourselves to better understand not just technology but the internet and also how we as individuals now use (abuse) it. The future of the world, children’s lives, our EQ our sanity not to mention the quality of the existence of Art depends on it...(I think)